#i get really sad when I cant have my windows open
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I don't know if I reblogged the post or if it's buried deep in my queue, but that post that's going around that's like,, how long have you been depriving yourself of good things, yes you get little treats but do you spend twenty dollars on something you dont necessarily need but would genuinely be nice for you just to have? The example the post gives is a rice cooker and I always thought it was a silly thing to get because I can make rice on the stove? But the post cracked something in me (and maybe it has something to do with my mental problems acting up thank you January please send the sun back thanks)
Anyway i do a lot of rice dishes because they're easy and I usually have eggs dried chives and something else in the house but for whatever reason, the last few months, i just cant bring myself to make rice. So I bought a rice cooker
I used it for the first time and I nearly cried today. It was just nice, it's such nice rice, and it's easy it's so so easy
#anyway so that post had a point#sometimes buying things that seem silly but simplify life is really good actually#feeling some kind of way tonight#im going to have an ice cream sandwich and watch dimension 20#its so cold out I couldnt have the blinds open#i get really sad when I cant have my windows open#im sorry if this is indecipherable#flaraspeaks#i love my rice cooker#a lot actually
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people in my dr ! Pt.1
⋆。°Ochako Uraraka (from someone who’s both her best friend and affiliated with her romantically)
⭑.ᐟ her cheeks and knuckles are naturally blushed giving her such a soft look especially with her brown eyes (they’re hazelnut brown with hazel highlights btw). you can she's blushing when her nose,ears and neck flush too and something I noticed that under her eyes also gets red and it makes it look like she's crying got so worried the first time that happened especially when she started floating away THE WINDOW WAS OPEN AND SHE ALMOST FLOATED OUT OF IT.
⭑.ᐟher hair floats and it looks like she has horns when she’s bashful it’s SO SO ADORABLE she always tries to tame it but ends up ruffling it and its even a bigger mess.when her hair got longer her ends started to curl up and some even started making heart shapes i was WEAK seeing that (and figured i had to stop her from floating out another window)
It mostly happens when she’s confessing something or says something without thinking and she realizes what she said it’s fun to wait until she covers her mouth and hides her face in her hands its soo ♡ she looks like a chipmunk
⭑.ᐟ Has a closed eyed smile and jumps a little when she gets what she wants/wins the argument AND DONT GET ME STARTED AT HOW SWEET SHE IS WHEN SHE GETS HER FAVORITE FOOD literally perks up and her eyes visibly shine .
Sometimes when she gets too happy she grips my shoulders and shakes me and starts jumping. learned the only was to stop is by jumping with her in circles but she has a tendency to step on people's feet HELP
⭑.ᐟ when she drops stuff when her quirk she puffs her cheeks or purses her lips making a fish like sound, or more like a bubble?? i cant explain it well but its so cute and sometimes she goes "bonk" but it sounds more of a "bawn" cause its in one go / a mutter her breath
She also separates her hands slowly when saying it i really hope you guys are getting the vision cause it's such a quirk of hers,she says "boom" if she's teamed up with Kats cause they have this move where she floats stuff,drops them and before they hit the ground he uses his quirk
⭑.ᐟ Her favorite hobby is jumping on me whenever i am doing something and calling me a wuss if i drop us,so far i slammed into a table,my desk,the fridge and broke houndog's mug.all this trouble cause she likes how my wings wrap themselves around her in panic (besides her loving to keep me on my toes) SHE COULD JUST ASK BUT NOOO
She gotta accept that I am old and can't keep up with that my shoulder is screaming from how heavy her boots are (whatever my girl wants she gets)
⭑.ᐟ one time she was staring and playing around with my fangs and poked herself when she pressed her thumb against them then blamed me for it,i tried to bite her finger forreal after that but i got launched off the couch.SHE'S SO MEAN.
she also pushes my cheeks together when i say something dumb or lightly taps my face twice then squeezes while looking so disappointed,I tried to flip her when she did that once but l ended up pinned down again WHEN WILL I GET MY JUSTICE MY FACE ALWAYS HURTS AFTER HER PINCHES
⭑.ᐟ she has naturally dark eyelashes looks like she has mascara on besides her lower lashes have a brownish tint ITS SO CUTE AND HER BEOWN EYELINER FOR WORK MAKES HER LOOK SO AUGHHH IT FITS HER SM
⭑.ᐟ Her chubby cheeks give her such a baby face. her and izuku have such squeezable faces i genuinely get cuteness aggression if i stared at them too long i bit their cheeks far too many times.
As doe faced as both of them are it goes out of the window when they're on the field i swear they age she has such a different vibe when we're on missions and she's so smart and such a quirk thinker we worked together on rescue missions for years i am sad I wont have any with her anymore since I stopped on field work but at least we have shared classes together that's smth fixed.
⭑.ᐟ one time she ran up to me after a mission for a hug and we fell off the stairs from the impact of her jump but she used her quirk last minute and it made me feel funny it felt like i was on a trampoline I was giggling that's one of my favorite stunts of hers
She's not always a hugger but when she is good luck getting out of her grip i feel like my ribs get squeezed .
⏦゚♡︎
- Post graduation crumbs
can pick both me and izuku which kinda freaks me out cause IZUKU IS SO FUCKING HEAVY AND SHE CAN PICK HIM UP ON HER SHOULDER?? WHILE HAVING ME IN HER ARMS SO CASUALLY.its so attractive but oh myy.
⭑.ᐟ
one time I saw her dragging katsuki by the collar with his gear and grenades on (while holding her bag in the other arm btw) when i was walking out of my office, weirdly enough that became normal occurrence really quickly and he gave up resisting LMAO
⭑.ᐟ
Randomly seen carrying around stuff esp if one of her/our shared classes have rescue training,one time she had a brick??i didnt even wanna ask.
another it was the comically large fish net momo made to catch me back in first year training with shoto AND SHE ACTUALLY RAN AFTER ME WITH IT CAUSE APPARENTLY THE STUDENTS SHOULD EXPECT ANYTHING AND THAT COUNTS THEIR TEACHER GETTING CHASED WITH A FISH NET.the whole thing was me and the poor poor kids trying not to get caught in the net and FLOATED AWAY INTO A BOX with another class trying to save us (she caught all 40 students and me (T ^ T).
⭑.ᐟ
talking about how she just walks around with stuff and people one time we saw her carrying a student WITH THEIR DESK to nezu’s office since they didn’t wanna get up thinking she’ll let whatever they did slide😭they looked so dumbfounded and mouthed a help me but not my student not my business,I am sorry I wouldn’t even try to reason with her in this situation.
⭑.ᐟ
Used to make flower crows as a kid and she taught me how cause i forgot and grew up with a certain someone eating flowers (katsuki),whenever i fell asleep in the park i woke up to flowers in my hair and a shit ton of pictures our friends took but one time i woke up to denki helping her and putting one in my mouth I WAS SO MAD CAUSE WHAT IF I SWALLOWED THAT.
fast forward a few years and whenever i fell asleep on my desk at work i wake up with a flower in my hair,a daisy most of times :) and a semi scolding note saying imma look like a shrimp at the end of the year if I don't stop sitting like one shrimp at the end of the year if I don't stop sitting like one.(・・?)
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Style and preferences !
_This is so random but she's really into freckles and beauty marks,she pokes and counts mine regularly (my three beauty marks that look like a triangle and the one on my knuckle specifically) and found it amusing how izuku's ears were also freckled it's one of her favorite features on us,heh
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⭑.ᐟ fruit scents over floral although she has more floral perfumes and body splashes saying it’s more mature/formal for work and events,her favorite scents are mango,strawberry and peach though.
then it turned to her separating the stuff she likes from work and getting fruity perfumes as a way to unwind and use at home (i suggested that after finding 20 plus bottles of stuff she doesn't even like )
⭑.ᐟ takes picking the ones she gets for work so seriously and love narrowing down options but one time she sprayed the tested in my eye.after the third "MY EYE" she told me to hurry up and asked if it smells good or not before it goes out of stock,isn't she just dreamy <3
⭑.ᐟ A turtle neck HATES to see her and the todoroki's coming,ocha and todo have accidentally matched a few times and she looks so good every time.i was happy seeing her wear that in the epilogue.
she also likes wearing boots i thought it was her being used to her hero costume but its more of a fashion statement,she said that her kicks hurt harder with them and that was..! yeah i didn't walk infront of her for a while.she likes gloves and arm/leg warmers too she has a pair of leg warmers that have her agency logo dangling from them (≧∀≦)
⭑.ᐟ loves sweetheart dresses and wearing bows and hair bands to match,especially flower based ones i was reeling when i found out she likes flowers cause i am a floral nerd and kept matching the flower based stuff i got her based on the occasion.we matched in graduation with rea, maru lilly and akemi <3 (two cr scripted friends if you guys are reading this hello i love you and one is an oc but its weird calling her that now)
⭑.ᐟ has a phone bracelet (i forgot its name) that me and katsuki made her cause when she smiles while texting ans taps the phone with her fingers unconsciously with her pinky.it has strawberry and a vanilla ice cream with sprinkles charm
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Bonus ᝰ.ᐟ
I LOVE how her mind works she's my inspo for the world building in my fantasy dr when it comes to some stuff, and scenarios l want to happen.
I remember how she had a whole plot of how everyone would end up getting to know to eachother and we had a path together its super duper cute and i cant wait to go on the silly adventures with her in my fantasy dr that she told me about that one time i couldn't sleep cause my wound hurt, think about that memory a lot it was nice and got my mind off what happened (T ^ T)
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In the vigilante are her speech was a little different from canon cause of conductive events and she was looking straight at me at some part i felt like my heart was gonna burst,she was always nervous about public speaking i was (still am) so proud of her back then i sent seelie to nuzzle her cheek slightly when-she was still holding the microphone and she just smiled at me and I smiled back slightly. It was one on those moments where I got the saving people with a smile thing that I never took the class seriously when it came to, watching her grow and have her own identity of heroism was such a surreal experience and i am so grateful to be close to someone as genuine as ochako be being there when she recognized that she genuinely wants to save people would forever be on my mind cause i didn't really have a deep rooted reason for my heroism and i thought it would stay that way but she made me realize that i just needed time to figure it out,she just cares so much and that day made another part of her journey click to me l don't know she has a way of saying and doing things it's so her and she's so incredible
────୨ৎ──── ⊹₊⟡⋆ thank you so much for reading if you read all of this <3
#reality shifting#shifting#shifting blog#mha shifter#shifting diary#shifting motivation#shiftblr#shifting storytime#reality shift#desired reality#shifting community#mha shifting#mha dr#shiftingrealities#shifting stories#ochako uraraka#ochakoshifting#shifters#shiftok#..caladrius#calarambles#peopleinmydr
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So Long, London
Leah Williamson x reader
A/N: Please be sensitive about this. This is how i grew up and I’m going through a rough patch with my mother. This is based on «So Long, London» by Taylor Swift. Feel free to listen to the added song as you read this for extra feelings. Even if you dont like her, take a listen.
Summary: You grow up with a mother that refuses to work. You have to leave football to pay rent at 11. Your mother tells you that life is supposed to be hard. Until one day, Leah’s dad tells you that it’s not supposed to be this hard.
Warnings/triggers: Angst. Childhood poverty. Verb abuse.
I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist,
I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift,
Your hand was trembling on the door handle. It was hard to sort out if it actually was your hand that was trembling from nervousness or your whole body from exhaustion. Tears pressed on your eyelids, but you knew better. Your lungs opted for a deep breath to stop the shaky breaths that had been running wild since you started walking back home from work.
It was cold outside. The kind of cold that leaves your body shivering so bad that when you finally get inside, it feels like your core is frozen. God, you think. You are so tired. Yet, you cant seem to enter your own house. Well, it’s not really your house. It’s your mother’s house that she rents. Actually, she rents but you pay.
You take a deep breath before pulling yourself together. Building up your invisible shield to protect you from your own blood. Not physically, but mentally. “Just one more month”, your mother says. She says that every month. And every month, you believe her. The believing her is what keeps you going. “Just one more month, then you can focus on middle school again.” That’s what your mother always say. She has been telling you that for years. You continue to believe it. Maybe she will try to get a job next month. Except, she won’t.
“Life is supposed to be hard” is what your mother would always reply like it was the solution to all the problems in the world. To her, it was. To you, it was the cause of all your problems. You are only 11. You are supposed to be playing in the sun with your girlfriends from school. You are supposed to be chasing your dreams with your team. You are supposed to like to dress up in pretty dresses. You are supposed to go to tournaments with you bestfriends, Leah, Ella and Alessia. You are supposed to be free from adulting worries. You are supposed to be a child. But you cant. Your mother refuses to work, and your baby sister needs roof over her head. And your mother refuses. So you work. Because it’s just, one more month.
You are lost in your thoughts when your hand opens the door startling you. Your feet step inside the hallway, but it feels like your head is still outside. Like it’s floating away like a balloon, a million miles above your house. Your trembling hands puts your backpack down before it quietly unzips your coat. It’s soaked. But that is expected, you have been walking with the news paper for hours. The shoes on your feet gets neatly put away in the shelf. But you stop. You take them and the coat with you into your room, not wanting to take up too much space.
When you make it to your bedroom, you feel safe. It’s not really a bedroom, it used to be a pantry but it fits a bed and a small desk. It’s sad that it doesn’t have windows, but you like it regardless because it keeps the cold somewhat out. The coat gets put up on the pole of your bed and the shoes gets put next to the wall. You take your backpack off and place it down infront of you. The coldness of your hands are still present, but it’s okay. Life is supposed to be hard. You unzip your backpack to find the contents soaked, again. Your belly hurts. You promised your teacher to keep your books dry. Now, they are ruined. They are falling apart at the seam. You try to place it on your desk, standing up while you spread the pages hoping it will dry. Maybe you can try to glue it close when you get to school.
The door creaks and your head freezes. “Did you make any money tonight?” Your mother asks. You nod before emptying your pockets. 110 punds. Your shaking hand offers them to your mother. She smiles. She always does when you give her the money she needs. “Thank you, don’t stay up too late” she says as she leaves the room. You cant help but frown. You are so painfully tired. You get up at 5 every morning. You walk your neighbour, Mrs. Tiller’s dog for 5 p every morning. Then, at 6, you walk to school. You reach school just before 8. Your mother used to drive you. Then when she couldn’t afford the car, you catch the bus. But the cost of tickets rised, so now you walk. School is over at 4 every day. Then you walk home. Usually, you are home around 6.30 because you are tired. It forces you to walk slower. Sometimes you stop and sit on a bench to rest. Around 7, you head out to give out the news papers for tomorrow. There was no routes available close to your house, and most people won’t hire an eleven year old. So you take what you get given. From 7 to 11.30, you walk with the news papers. Sometimes, you get tips, explanations if it rains or if you are sick. Because people feel bad for you. But you don’t care, because life is supposed to be hard. Your eyes are tired as you try to do your homework from you soaked books. You end up sitting at your desk, close to falling asleep. But, it’s okay, you think. It’s only for one more month. Expect, it isn’t.
And you say I abandoned the ship,
But I was going down with it,
You are now 14. One more month, your mother still says. Every time you tell her that you feel like you can’t catch your breath. Just one more month. You now know that’s not true. That it’s forever. But you smile and keep quiet. You never make a fuss. You pretend to believe her. As long as you pay the rent, your mother doesn’t care. But, life is supposed to be hard, so it’s okay. You skip school to work at the local gas station. But your mother doesn’t know that you work there. She thinks you still walk with newspaper. It hurts to lie to her. She likes you, she says. But, she loves your sister.
Your mother hates lying. She yells at you if you lie. But your boss is your friend Leah’s dad. He gives you one check a month. Just enough to cover the rent. But he pays for your football with your friends. And he sneaks you cash when he can. That way, your mother doesn’t get suspicious. It hurts to lie, you think. It makes you feel on edge. Like you are always on guard. Like someone will come rip it all away from you. But it’s okay, life is supposed to be hard.
One day, you come home from work and from practice. You make sure to not come home too early. So you wait at the field, not wanting to cause any suspicion in your mother. It’s the same routine still. You come home, bring your clothes to your room, your mother comes in to ask for money and then she leaves.
One day, that goes all wrong. You come home too soon. You don’t mean to come home too soon, but you do. The exhaustion is ripping you apart and you need to sleep. So you sneak into your room with your clothes. But you forgot to change out of the pair of hand-me-down shorts Leah’s mom gave you and you are still wearing Leah’s brother’s old club shirt. It makes your mother furious. She tells you that you are an awful kid. That you are irresponsible. That she wishes someone could come and take you away so she doesn’t have to deal with you. And you don’t say anything back, you keep your head down and let her tell you how awful you are. She forces you to change and she then takes your shorts and t-shirt away. Then she slams the door shut. And she doesn’t talk to you for weeks.
After pleading your mother to speak to you, to aknowledge you for weeks. She looks at you with disappointment in her eyes. You try to explain. Football is the only thing that brings you happiness. And your coach says that you have real talent. That you might make it. Your mother tells you that might dosent get you anywhere. That football is for immature children. That you need to be a responsible adult and work. You nod. But, you aren’t an adult. You are a child. You are 14. But, life is supposed to be hard, your mother says. And you quit football. Because life isn’t supposed to be fun. Life is supposed to be hard.
My white knuckle dying grip,
Holding tight to your quiet resentment and,
My friends said it isn't right to be scared,
Every day of a love affair.
You keep the schedule. Work-School-Work. Until you are 15. One day, you get called to the front desk. You feel scared. Maybe your mother finally got someone to take you away? So you could stop being a burden. For a split second, the thought of someone taking you away, relieves the heavy feeling you have in your gut. Maybe, just maybe, things will be better, you think. But, you find your old coach at school, Leah’s dad. Rather, he manages to pull you out of your class to talk to you. The sight of him makes you want to cry. You want to ask him to take you away. To find some other family that you can live in. Maybe one of the group homes you learn about in social studies isn’t that bad. But you lie. You tell him, The joy you felt playing football is gone. And you haven’t been able to feel that kind of joy since. But you tell him that it’s okay. That life is supposed to be hard.
He frowns and shakes his head. He says that life isn’t supposed to be this hard. That kids needs to get to play and have fun. That you aren’t supposed to work when you are 11. That your mother is supposed to be working. You think about believing him. That his word might be true. But you remember. Your mother warned you. That people will try to convince you otherwise. So you shut him down. You tell him that you just don’t life football anymore. That it’s boring. But all you want to do is cry.
You turn your back to him while he calls your name. But you continue walking all the way down the hallway. To the left and then up the stairs. To the right and to your classroom. You quietly slip into the room finding your seat, doing your best at being invisible. Leah furrows her brows at you and tries to whisper something about what happened. You try to smile to her, but it dosent look real. Not at all. You can’t really smile anymore. Because you are so tired. You work all day and do homework all night. Your grades suffers from that. But, you think that it’s okay. Life is supposed to be hard, you think.
A week later, after working a night shift, you go back to school. Still in the same clothes as yesterday. When you get into your classroom, you slip quietly into your spot next to Leah. She smiles at you. And you try to smile back. But, you are just so tired. She asks you if you are okay. And she knows about your mother. She asks if your mother is being tough on you. You think about telling her the truth. But you just shrug. You smile sadly at her, and tell her that life is supposed to be hard.
When you get to work that night, Leah and her dad is there. You light up. Are you working tonight, you ask. But you know the answer. She dosent work. She doesn’t have too. She focus on football. On getting better. On being a child. Leah’s dad shakes his head. He says that it has gone on too long. That you need help. That your mother needs help. You feel offended. You don’t need help, you think. You pay the rent, you think. You are responsible. But when you want to argue with him, Leah looks at you with her warm smile. She asks if you want to sleep over. And you think about it. Your mother wouldn’t know. But you have work, you tell her. She looks at her father, he says you can have the night off. You can’t afford that, you say. But he smiles, he says that he will make sure you get pained. So you agree. To go home to Leah and sleep at her place.
When you get to her house, it’s like you want to cry. You get a warm bath with bubbles and bathbombs. As you dry off, you smell dinner. Her mom has made your favourite. Spaghetti and meatballs. Red sauce. Salad and garlic bread with Parmesan. You look at the dinner on the plate and you dig in. The feeling of being full is something you don’t really get a lot, so you feel tired and warm and fussy. You and Leah go to bed in her room. But before you do, Leah needs to go get her backpack from the car. While you wait, her mom pulls you aside. She tells you that you can always tell her if you need help. If you need somewhere to stay. That she thinks of you as her second daughter. And if it wasn’t for you being so full and warm and fluffy inside, you would’ve gotten angry. But you don’t. You thank her. Then Leah comes back and you go to her bedroom. Her nice room with soft carpets. And curtains. And a nice mirror with lights on them. She even has a big bed with two nightstands. You borrow some soft pyjamas. They look brand new, and you decline. But Leah says it’s okay. That she can get new ones. So you accept. Leah has already fallen asleep. So you scoot into her for comfort. Her soft snores are comforting, you think. And you cuddle up to her. She wraps her hands around you in her sleep. Like when you were kids. She’s still your bestfriend. You close your eyes. But you hear the door of Leah’s bedroom going up. You open one of your eyes slightly. Just enough to see, but not enough to let them see that you are awake. It’s her mom. She comes in. She kisses Leah’s forehead. She moves around to your side and kisses your forehead too. Then she wraps the comforter around you both. Just like she did when you were kids. But you still are kids. You feel confused as you lay there with closed eyes. Maybe life isn’t supposed to be this hard.
The next morning, you get ready together. You get another shower and you borrow some of Leah’s clothes. They are nice and warm. You don’t really have warm clothes anymore. It’s too expensive. But Leah’s parents takes care of her, and of you. Her dad has already turned on the car to warm it up before he drops you off at school. When you stand in the kitchen, waiting for Leah. Her mom looks at you with tears in her eyes. She tucks your hair behind your ear. And you feel the tears pressing too. You throw yourself around her. She hugs you back as you cry. And she holds you. You look up at her while you shake. You both know that you are not going back to your mothers house. But you don’t know what to say.
Maybe life isn’t supposed to be this hard, you say. And Leah’s mother understands.
So how much sad did you think I had,
Did you think I had in me?
How much tragedy?
Just how low did you think I'd go?
Before I'd self-implode,
Before I'd have to go be free
You sit across from your mother. It’s an office. It’s bright and white and clinical. You stay with Leah’s parents now. And you don’t work. But you play football again. Your mother crosses her arms as the therapist talks. You look down at your shoes. The eyes of your mother is burning into your chest. You feel a cry gather up in your throat. And you want to run away. To hide. To never come back. A part of you wishes you never asked for help. But a part of you knows that, if you didn’t get help. If Leah’s mother didn’t help you. You wouldn’t be here’s
She’s making up things, your mother says. You don’t bother arguing. You just stare at the floor while your mother takes a verbal stab at you infront of the therapist. She’s irresponsible, she’s says. Ungrateful, she says. The anger is building up in her voice. And you feel scared. Like when you were 11. And walked the streets to hand out the newspaper. In the middle of the night. To pay rent. But you don’t say anything. You just look at the therapist. She raises a brow at you. And you nod.
The therapist smiles and stands up. A second later , Leah’s mom comes into the room. There aren’t any chairs close to you. But, she sits next to you. Moving the chairs around, arranging for you to feel safe. It’s nice, you think. Leah’s mom is perfect. She is kind. Helpful. And she won’t say mean things about you. Not even when you aren’t there. Her hand takes yours. It’s magical, you think. You feel safer. Warmer. Stronger. Just as if her hands have superpowers.
The therapist continues on talking. You can’t really underatand everything. You are just tired. Even though you have stayed at Leah’s for a few weeks, you still feel tired. Leah’s mom got worried, so she took you to the doctor. You hadn’t really been there before, but she came with her. The doctor did tests and took you blood. Then he told you that you were burned out. That he was pulling you out of school for a few weeks. That you needed to do something fun. Fun to you was football. Or used to bed but it was too late to play now. You got scared, but Leah’s mom said that she was gonna take care of it. You felt scared to believe her, but you did. And she took care of it. You got a tutor that helped you better your grades. You started football with Leah, and you loved it again. You feel like you might die if you have to go to your mother again.
The therapist talks. Leah’s mom says that you are kind. That you help out at home without being told to. That she sometimes stops you from overworking yourself. That she reminds you to be a kid. That you are respectful. And polite. And, easy to love. You feel warm inside when Leah’s mom talks about you. But you can see your mother’s face when you look up. She is angry. Her face is tight. And she’s smirking at you in a way that scares you, like payback.
The therapist then talks to you. He asked you questions and you don’t really know the answers to anything. You shrug and hold on to Leah’s mom. To comfort. To her love. The room is silent as you mother looks at you. Leah’s mom looks at you. The therapist looks at you. You gulp before looking your mother in her eyes. You hold Leah’s mom tight. Life isn’t supposed to be this hard, you say.
You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waiting for the proof,
You sacrificed us to the gods of your blues
You stay with Leah’s parents. Permanently, you decided. You get new clothes. And a bedroom with fairy lights. And carpets. And a desk. And a big bed. And clothes. And cleats and workout clothes. Even a new phone and a computer for your school work. You like it, but you feel scared. Maybe this is too much, you think. Maybe you are too expensive, you worry. But Leah’s mom reads your mind. She assures you that you deserve a space for you. That you need things. A room. Clothes. That you deserve dignity.
Life gets better from here. When Leah celebrates her 16th birthday with your 16th birthday, you feel sad. You don’t know many people. But you are happy for Leah. Because her family is coming over with gifts for her. You decide to wait upstairs as you sniffle before putting your new summer dress on. It’s pink and it’s the nicest dress that you own. The only dress you own. You hear Leah callling from downstairs, and you feel embarrassed that you made her wait for her gifts so you hurry down. But you stop mid stairs. Leah’s family has gather at the bottom of the stairs. They have gifts and cake and balloons in their hands. And they all yell, surprise! It makes you confused until Leah comes up and grabs your hand. She tells you that it’s your gifts. Your cakes. Your ballons. And your family. You feel grateful as you tear up. You blow your candles for the first time ever and her family hugs you. It feels safe. It feels like home. Home with Leah and her family.
She’s your bestfriend. But after your birthday party. You lay in the big swing in the garden together. Looking at clouds. Hearts. Starts. Balls. Cats. The skies has shapes. You haven’t really noticed it before. Leah grabs your hand as you both lay there. And you grab hers. It feels safe with Leah. She has been your bestfriends since you went to kindergarten together. But that changes. Leah kisses you. And you kiss her back. And suddenly, you are girlfriends.
At night, you get your makeup off and put your new soft pjs on. You start to think that this life is good. This is how life was supposed to be. And you feel like you might have accepted it. That it’s okay to feel happy. That this is what a family feels like. You start brushing your hair before preparing to braid it. You sit in the chair watching your hands brain in the mirror. You hear your phone buzz, and you look at it. It’s your mother. For the first time in a year. And you spiral. Immediately bursting into Leah’s room and her arms. She holds you tight. Her mother brings tea and you watch a movie together. Eventually, you pass out from exhaustion. And Leah, deletes the message. Leah says, life isn’t supposed to be this hard before she kisses the top of you head keeping you safe.
And I'm just getting color back into my face,
I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place,
For so long, London
You are 17 now, and you finally got an offer to play for a club. You and Leah, got an offer together. But you don’t know how to feel. You are leaving to play. Leah is playing for Arsenal. She has been for a year. You got accepted into the girls under 18’s squad, but you made big progress. You didn’t think that it could be this good, that you deserved a life like this. But here you are. Leah’s mom and dad comes to every game. If you and Leah play at the same time; they split up so you can have someone there for you. You are scared to admit it, but you love it.
But now, Barcelona is knocking on your door. Leah’s door aswell. Leah has set her heart to leave. Barcelona is the greatest women’s club in the world, and she is one of the greatest players of her age. You are not there yet, but you get there eventually. But you don’t know that yet.
You feel scared. If Leah leaves and you stay behind, then she might break up with you. But she reassures you that she won’t. Because she loves you. And she chose you. Then you feel scared again. If Leah leaves and you stay behind, then where are you gonna stay. Leah’s mom laughs and says that this is your home too. That you can stay here for as long as you wish before you grow up. She says that you can go and come back if it gets too much.
That makes you feel safe. Leah’s family makes you feel safe. Her dad helps you make a decision. He tests your speed. Your strength. Your one vs one. Your dribbles. Your shots. Your agility. He watches Barcelona’s games on the tv with you. You analyse the team together taking notes to see if it matches with your current shape.
After a week, you call Barcelona back. You hang up after the call feeling empty as you walk down stairs. Leah sits down in the living room with her mom and her dad. They all look at you. Her dad looks worried. Leah looks terrified. Her mom smiles at you, like she always does. Always creating a safe heaven for you.
You gulp. Leah asks you, did you decline, she says. You swallow as you sight. Tears starts to press on your eyelids and your phone feels like it burns holes in your pockets. Leah takes a step towards you. You can see tears in her eyes too. You let out a breath and look at her.
Life isn’t supposed to be this hard, you say. I am going with you to Barcelona, you confirm and Leah breaks out in a huge smile. She pulls you in for a hug. Her mom and dad hugs you both at the same time. Your mom and dad hugs you both at the same time. A family hug.
A moment of warm sun,
But I'm not the one,
So long, London
You stare at your bags. You stare at Leah’s bags. Your dad looks at the bags before he starts shuffling them around to fit into the trunk of his car. Somehow, he makes it happen. You have dinner together for the last time. Spaghetti, meatballs, salad, garlic bread with Parmesan. Your favourite. It feels like the end of an era. You feel stronger now. Like you have grown into a woman. You have more respect for yourself now.
After dinner, you all drive to the airport. Ready to take on the world together. You and Leah, in your new apartment in Barcelona. As you pass through busy London streets, you pass people. Elders, youngsters, families and kids. You pass stores like Claire’s and primark. You pass a football field with little girls playing football. It makes you smile. You think about how one of those girls might be the next big thing. How all they need is one person who believes in them. One person to change it all.
You look over at Leah who is asleep. She always does this, falls asleep in rides. Trains, cars or planes; she always falls asleep. You grab your phone and go to the message section. You decide to type in a message. The message is to your mother, former mother. You tell her that you are moving to Spain. To play football with Leah. That your parents are diving you to the airport. That you hope she rottens away alone. And to never contact you again.
As you press send; you block her number. You look up when it’s done feeling 100 kilos lighter. Outside, the rain suddenly dries up and sun breaks through the heavy sky. You lower your shoulders as you breathe in the London smell for the last time, at least for a while. It’s good. You know that this is the start of your life. This is you prioritising you. That this is what you need. A place to call home, that doesn’t have any memories of your former mother.
At the airplane, you get to sit next to the window. You put your phone in airplane mode and watches as the flight takes off. The trees becomes small underneath you. The houses becomes like small sheds. The horses looks like grains of rice and you look over to Leah who is fast asleep holding you hand. You smile as you turn your head back to the window. The sun is shining more and more as you move higher up. You look at the familiar landscape while it disappears and whisper underneath your breath,
So long, London.
#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso community#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson imagine#leah williamson#lionesses
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Hiii (’◡’) I really liked that fan fiction of choso where he's jealous over the kitty but I think it would be so cute w nanaaamii plz plz💗(*ˊᗜˋ*)
Ahhh thank you for reading my fic (and liking it) 🥰.
Here we go
Jealousy
Tw: none, just fluff. But not edited.
FEATURING: NANAMI
It all started after a hard day's work. Another overtime.
Nanami sighed as he turns the key and steps inside your shared apartment, he really needed to just feel you right now.
"I'm back." He mumbled kicking off his shoes.
He dosent hear you move or respond...weird. He walks into the living room, sunlight comes in golden rays settling on your sleeping figure. His mouth upturns into a smile.
Until it dosent.
There on you peaceful rising chest was a white fluff ball, it's form also rising up and down. It took his spot.
Feeling something around you, your eyes slowly open to see a very exhausted Nanami.
"Welcome back Kento" you say sleepily sitting upright the white fluff now in your arms.
"What do you have there?" He asked.
You were to tierd to tell how he asked the question. Was he upset? Angery? Hard to tell.
"Oh this guy. I found him on our window sill this morning and he was injured."
Right on que the cat lifts one of its paws up revealing a small bandage wrapped around it.
Kento thought a vain in his head was going to burst when the cat turned to face him only to snuggle right under your face and reveal its big blue eyes.
There was something wrong with this cat. Cats don't just show up injured on a 6th floor apartment window. Cats don't smirk and hit people's nerves.
And most importantly they shouldn't look like a carbon copy of a white haired co worker that passes him off.
"He looks better already." Kento mumbled glaring at the cat.
"You know I actually have a cut here to" He said lifting his shirt up only too show half of his torso with a deep wound on one side.
"Oh Kento, why didn't you go to Shoko?! She would have foxed this in a minute!" You said putting the cat aside and getting up to grab your patch up supplies.
"She was on break and I wanted to see you." He sighed.
"But I see someone beat me to it." He glared at the cat.
You brought over a box and started attending to the wound.
"Kento what if it got infected? What if you made it worse? You cant just ignore this like it's nothing!" You said as you finished disinfecting it.
He only watched as the cat jumped off the couch and weaved between your legs.
"Aww isn't he the cutest." You said looking down at the cat.
"If you say so darling. How long is he going to be here anyway, i'm afraid his owners might begin to miss him"
"Actually he's a stray, he doesn't have anyone Ken, isn't that sad!"
"mm very, what do you suppose we do about it?" he asked glaring into the cats back.
"We should at least look after him until he heals, and I know this apartment doesn't allow pets but I spoke to the land lady and she said I can keep him here until he's better" You beamed only making him sigh.
He can't make you sad when you were this excited about having a cat, TEMPORARILY.
"Okay. We can keep him for now, but I need to rest and that means me and you. No cat."
The cat meowed loudly from the other room.
"I mean it."
"Okay Ken!" You said just glad you could keep the cat.
THANK YOU FOR READING ♡
AUTHOURS NOTE: Tehe thanks for the request anon and sorry it took so long :( have a good whatever time.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fluff#kento nanami#nanami x reader#kento x reader
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🐞 draco malfoy ; unrequited love, part 5 (hufflepuff fem reader)
♪ a lots gonna change : weyes blood
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4
♡ warnings: angst
tagged: @miawastakens @watercolorskyy @pinkynecktie
also to the last person who requested to be tagged, im so sorry but i cant seem to find your blog when i try to tag it :(
by the way a reference to the last chapter, i realised adrian pucey is two years older than harrys year, so for the sake of it not being weird just pretend he was a year older than us
☆
You cried all night.
You didn’t know if whether you had swayed him, or distanced him from you even more. Each passing thought that involved him had only provoked your yearning tears. By the end of the long evening, your pillow was wet with the heartbreak and sadness you wept for him.
You were stupid enough to believe he was for you. The muggleborn girl and the pureblooded boy with a family full of blood supremacists which he was surely influenced from — yeah, right. What a foolish imagination you must have.
Dawn had rolled around, and your quiet sobs had eventually stopped and morphed into your sleep. The bright light of the sun shone through the fogged window, reflecting onto your hair. Your yellow duvet covers were spread everywhere, and the mascara you had worn from the ball before had stained your pillow like watery, black ink.
You rose up from your slumber, increasingly light headed from all the thinking you had been doing all night. It was time to finally get on with your life, and leave this all behind. Your feelings for him would have to disappear, soon enough.
Your ball dress was still on, and was crumpled from the action of tossing and turning restlessly in your bed.
A letter was positioned unknowingly on the windowsill. You noticed that the window door was open, the cold air hitting your face like a vent. You saw that a midnight feathered owl with amber eyes as bright as streetlights perched on the sill, looking at you with its pupils dilating.
Eagerly, you opened the letter, hoping it to be from your parents. They had only just figured out how to use the owl. But the envelope looked too classy, too posh even. Nothing like the basic white envelopes you’d usually see.
It had a certain family emblem on the black seal.
Ripping the top of the envelope, you lifted the mysterious letter from the pocket. You had almost instantly recognised the handwriting, as you had seen it in your potions class not too long ago. It was Malfoy’s.
The words were carefully carved with ink on the parchment, and ink smudges seemed to be far less of a problem for him to prevent than it was for you. Using a quill and proper ink was still something to get used to, even if it had been 4 years. You anxiously let your eyes scan the page, a lump forming in your hoarse throat from all the sobbing. To….
I apologise for my previous behaviour last night
I understand that I may have upset you. This is quite new to me actually. I’m too wrapped up in myself to recognise others problems, if I am being honest.
However, while I still stand by what I said about us not working out, I do want to create a compromise with you. And before you ask, I’ve dealt with Astoria. It was entirely difficult for me to tell her. And to be honest, I am feeling quite down. But I’m still so confused on where my heart is leading and I don’t want to lead her on either. She’s one of the only people I care about. Except for my family and some others which I won’t name.
If you are so desperate, it will have to be a hidden secret between us. If I ever eventually decide to let myself love you, while the guilt might weigh heavily on me, I am not afraid of it. It is quite dismaying knowing that you aren’t a pure-blood like I am, but I want to learn to be more tolerant at least. And I’ll try to be more open. But don’t let a word slip out. I’m sorry if I am asking much. I should really not ask you of anything, but I can’t help it. I’m still adjusting to this. I thought it would be so easy, love. But it’s not. Sometimes we fall in love with the wrong people. But I don’t want to label you as wrong. Rather — unexpected. My family will surely be disappointed, so it’s why I’m so hesitant. But it’s a risk I am willing to take for my heart to finally be at rest. It has been tugging on me for weeks.
Do answer me later. Moreover, maybe I can explain it to you better in person.
Draco Malfoy
You saw your tears melt onto the paper. Different emotions poured through you like a rainfall, you felt excited and happy, but also unnerved. It disappointed you that he couldn’t accept you in the first place.
You found out your quill and a pot of ink.
To Malfoy,
Thank you for your letter. I am glad that you’ve explained to me your feelings. Sometimes writing it down makes everything better.
But please, do accept me as I am. I don’t want to pressure you into doing something you won’t find comfort in. Plus, it would put me in danger too. I don’t know what your family is like, but I don’t want to entrust them just yet.
However, I do feel similarly. Maybe we could try it.
I’d be glad to keep it a secret for you.
From…
You finally signed your name in one swoop of your quill.
“Hopefully..” You say to yourself, handing the addressed envelope to the messenger owl.
☆
thank you all so much for reading this fic, i appreciate all the support youve given me so much and im excited to write more future ones for you soon ♡
also im sorry if the ending seems quite rushed, i had no idea what to do and i didnt want to keep anyone waiting too long :( ill try to improve on this in the future and hopefully, not pressure myself too much with releasing chapters
#harry potter#harry potter fic#draco x reader#angst#draco angst#draco imagine#draco malfoy angst#draco x female reader#draco x hufflepuff!reader#draco malfoy x reader#draco x muggleborn!reader#draco x muggleborn
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I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM. BARE WITH ME. PLEASE.
ahem- y’all remember that post I made about Sam turning 18 and going to find Billy? Listen to this shit- [apologies if I can’t write Sams character well- I will be trying here though.] [Survivor au so Billy and stu are like.. kinda popular, blame River for that idea.]
-
Sam stares out the taxi window, blinking slowly. She made the decision to come here, but now that she was here all she wanted to do was run away.
The taxi driver was talking, but the words faded in the background and Sam couldn’t hear them. She just fumbled with her money, gave it to him as she muttered a thanks and stepped out the car.
She stood in front of the house for a good minute before walking up the path that leads to the door.
It was a beautiful house, with a fence in the back. It looked like the kind of house she would see in the movie ‘Stab’, but it was really pretty.
She breathed out slowly as she knocked on the door. There was barking inside for a moment, and she didn’t have to wait long for the door to open.
“Can I help you?” She looked at him, her dad. Billy Loomis- she’s seen pictures of him before, but now that she was actually here in person she could see a few similarities between them.. it was.. strange, to say the least.
“You’re.. Billy Loomis, right?”
He sighs, and leans his head on the doorframe. “Listen kid, I don’t do autographs, I’m not giving you some free shirt-”
Sam shakes her head. “What? No- no I’m..” she pauses, for a soft moment before finishing, “I’m Samantha? Sam Carpenter. You’re my dad.”
Billys brown pinch together and he shakes his head. “Uh huh- nice try.”
“You fucked my mother! You’re my dad, she talked about you a lot. We can get a dna test if-”
“Did I just hear you have a daughter?” Someone else pops up behind Billy, holding a cat in his arms. Sam recognizes him, that’s Stu. Stu Loomis, Billys husband and friend during the murders of ‘96.
Billy elbow Stu in the stomach carefully, “go away” he mutters softly.
Sam looks between them both, and then she sighs. “My mom was Christina Carpenter, you don’t remember her?”
“Not in the slightest.” Billy sounds almost like he’s hissing it at her, but it doesn’t want to make her back down in any regard. Instead, it makes her want to stand taller.
“Wait-” Stu talks, and he looks at her now. “Christina Christina.. Dude!��� He looks at Billy. “You don’t remember her? You guys had sex at my party- pretty sure it was like.. roughly around September?”
Billy blinks at him, then shrugs. “I wouldn’t know, pretty sure I was drunk that entire time.”
Sam feels something curling in her stomach when she fully realized he had no idea about her. She doesn’t know why, but it makes her feels almost sad. Maybe she should’ve expected that, but she still had a little hope that maybe.. maybe he would know.
“You were in fact very drunk, now that I think about it,” Stu confirms with a nod, then he’s looking at Sam.
Sam looks at him back, and he seems nice enough. At least, he seems nicer than Billy.
“You here by yourself?”
Sam nods. “It’s like.. kinda my birthday? And I wanted to know who my dad was- I can probably just” she makes a slightly annoyed gesture with her hands. “Call another taxi and leave though-”
“Absolutely not.” Billy shakes his head. “No way- look..” Billy sighs, rubbing his face. “You can stay for a while, if you want- we have the room and I guess..” Billy does a hand gesture as well, and Sam realizes that’s something she does a lot. She must’ve gotten that from him. “It might be nice to get to know you.”
Stu smiles. “I get to be a dad!”
“Aren’t you already a dad?” Sam and Billy say together, both pointing to the cat. Then they’re looking at each other, before Billy laughs.
“Oh I see. You’re both going to Gang up on me now.” Stu shakes his head. “That’s gotta be a Loomis thing.”
Billy looks at Sam with a hum, “Whatdya think? Team Loomis?”
Sam smiles just a little and nods. “Team Loomis..” she almost whispers it, not being used to say Loomis in reference to herself. But something about this feels.. right. It feels like a home, something she rarely experienced back with her mom.
"Happy birthday, by the way."
She smiles just a little more. "Thank you," She utters, and she feels a warmth in her chest. Maybe this time, she'll be able to feel like she belongs in a place. A place to call home.
____
AHHHHH. I cannot stop thinking about a different au where they meet, it makes me bonkers.
Anyways- Tag list for all my cool friends !!
@koyarkive [ik you don't know scream 5 but its writing so here cap'n] @smashlovesscream @fantasylandbitch @blackwolfstabs
#billy loomis#scream#scream 1996#stu macher#stuilly#sam carpenter#sam loomis#scream 2022#scream 5#scream 6#billy and sam AAAHHHH#they make me crazy#I'm falling down a silly team Loomis hole#gonna sleep here#in my Loomis hole#HHFBDJHSFGASKJEY#still not 100% on my writing of sam#ngl#but I think its okay?#I'm not knowing
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drunk(in love)
a/n: hi hi ^^ this is actually based on that little snippet of drunk yeonjun from suchwita hahahahah i cant resist writing cuz really, he is so cute >< so enjoy reading~ reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! also this is my first attempt on crack (?) so i don't really think it turns out well but wtv ( ;´・ω・`)
you've been friends with txt for quite some time now and really, you've had your fair share of drunken experiences with all of them. well, except for yeonjun. you really wonder why he's never really get drunk in front of you? does he feels uncomfortable? does he not trust you? or is he scary when he's drunk? sad? clingy? you can never guess.
and today you'll get the answer.
you're going over to their dorm tonight for games night and you've asked for soobin's help (well, not really help, soobin just have to make sure yeonjun drinks a lot today and that's not really hard for him) for your agenda.
"y/n noona!!", hueningkai squealed, getting up from his spot and throwing himself over you, almost making you both fall down. "you big puppy, missed me much?", you said as you ruffled his hair, the younger boy just grinning from ear to ear.
"oooof looks like you guys started early without me, huh?", you asked, sitting down across from soobin and yeonjun, the former giving you a knowing nod. the latter however kept quiet, his cheeks rosy from the alcohol. "now now guys, what about we play truth or dare?", beomgyu suggested, grabbing an empty bottle and putting it in the middle of the circle. oh, don't you love it when everything is going your way.
after a few rounds, you grew frustrated, the bottle never landing on that one particular person you're hoping for. at this point, you already has to drink beomgyu's 'concoction of love' as what he likes to call it, taehyun has already somersaulted from the table, beomgyu having to post video wearing ugly wigs, soobin and hueningkai choosing the safe choice of truth which leaves only yeonjun having not done anything.
"okay hyung, i am just gonna give you two choices, truth or dare", soobin said, holding the bottle and pointing it straight at yeonjun's face. the older boy whined, definitely not liking that he has to choose. "truth" "okay, confess your undying love for y/n".
soobin's requests surely had yeonjun suprised, his droopy eyes almost budging out, "that's not fairrrrr", yeonjun turned to soobin, shaking his shoulders and kicking his feet like a child.
oh wow this is certainly not like what you imagine drunk yeonjun would be, all his coolness flew out the window, leaving this cute child in front of you. you're certainly not complaining tho, reaching into your pocket and getting your phone, recording this precious gem.
"what's not fair? you did choose truth so don't be pussy now, hyung", soobin laughed, passing the bottle to yeonjun. he then grabbed the bottle, tapping it as if it's his mic, ready to speak. "ahem, mic check, okay", yeonjun straighten his back, adjusting his imaginary tie before he speaks. "tooooo my beloved y/n, my sparkling blue spring, i am soooo soooo grateful to have you, my goddess in my life", he slurs, his hand making theatric gestures. "youuuuu really make me feel like i'm human, not just an idol people look up to.... how do you do that? making my heart all flowery when you talk to me? ahhhh you really are amazing~ you should open a flower shop, y/n", yeonjun grinned, making the whole room laugh at him. oh he's so gonna regret this when he sobers up.
"let me show you how much i appreciate you with this dance i make for you", yeonjun suddenly stands up, almost stumbling into the table before soobin manage to catch him. "okay now that's enough, hyung. let's go sleep", soobin sighed, practically having to drag yeonjun's ass to his room.
"Y/N DONT LEAVE YETTT COME TO MEEE", you can basically hear yeonjun's whining from his room. now, you really know why he never gets drunk in front of you. such a cutie.
before leaving, you quickly sent the video you recorded to your group chat, knowing how embarrassed yeonjun would be when he woke up.
and as expected, the next morning the house is filled with roars from yeonjun and soobin, the older one chasing the other around the house for a beating. "COME HERE, CHOI SOOBIN, YOU UNGRATEFUL KID HOW DARE YOU!"
#cj!thoughts#tomorrow x together#txt#txt imagines#txt soft thoughts#txt soft hours#txt smut#yeonjun#yeonjun soft hours#yeonjun soft thoughts#yeonjun smut#yeonjun imagines#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#yeonjun hard hours#yeonjun hard thoughts
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☽☹︎ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬 - 𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 ☹︎☼
summary: you were on the run, not for humans but from monsters.
warnings: the thought of this made my heart kinda cry. mentions of suicide kind of, swearing.
“run! don’t stop!” abby shouted behind you, there must have about 3 hordes behind the both of you, you were alone. clearing out areas was definitely dangerous but never did you ever think it would end up like this.
the bite on your ankle was burning, gushing of blood, stinging, everything bad you could think off you felt, guilt, sadness, hopeless.
“on your right! there’s a shack!” you looked over and ran, you waiting for abby at your entrance ready to close the door and block it. as she ran past you slammed it shut, she pushed a cabinet over the door.
“abb-” she cut you off “oh my god, what do we do love? there’s gotta be a way out of this” you continued to call her name but she was talking over you “abby!” you shouted, she turned around.
“im so sorry, you need to go. go right now” abby looked at you confused “i got bit, o-on the way to our last area where i got grabbed. abby i’m so sorry, you need to go right now” she shook her head “no..no no y/n stop don’t do this to me, please baby” she cupped your face, looking into your eyes, tears threaten to fall.
“i’m really sorry, i don’t know what to do. im so scared abby, i don’t want to do this, i-i don’t want to turn into one of them please abby” you sobbed against her chest, she held you close. crying with you.
“no, y/n please you can’t do this to me. i cant feel that feeling again” she whimpered “i am so sorry, i love you abby. please tell owen, mel and m-manny i’m sorry” abby pressed her forehead against yours. “i don’t know what i’m going to do y/n”
“you’re going to go back, tell everyone, say i went in a good way, d-don’t tell them the truth but them three. you are going to continue to be the wonderful person you are, work as hard as you usually do, be the abby that i know” she shook her head. you pulled the necklace from your neck and gave it to her “please don’t forget me abby”
“i could never” the sound of the door getting hit by the hordes made you both jump “you need to go, please” you begged for her to jump from a window or something like that. she nodded, she gave you a kiss and with that she left. you stood in the centre of the room tears streaming down your cheeks.
[3 DAYS LATER]
abby made her way to the shack, mel, owen and manny following behind. she stopped before opening the door, her eyes started to water “abby, i’ll go if i have to” she shook her head “no, you guys stay here” she opened the door and breathed out heavily, she found your lifeless body. slumped up the corner, gun in hand.
a note had been placed next to your arm, she walked over to it. she tried her hardest not to look at you, but she couldn’t help herself. there you were, skin had turned so dull, eyes began to darken, the bite on your ankle had turned a funny colour, it was covered in pockets of puss and dried up blood.
she picked up the note and it read
abby, i hope you find this letter but at the same time i hope you don’t. i don’t want you to see what i look like, i don’t know what will happen, if i still turn into one of them or if i made it out in time. telling you what happened was the worst thing i’ve ever had to do, i know what you have been through and i hate myself that i told you in a way that i did. i hope to be able to watch over you, and guide you in a way. please don’t think of this moment ever again, i want you to remember me, but remember the great memories. i love you abby, i want to write more but i’m afraid those things will get in and tear me up. i’ll see you in heaven my darling, goodbye. -y/n
she folded up the letter and put it in her backpack, she took yours as well. she studied you, she remembers your laugh, the way it sounded, it was contagious. she remembers how your eyes would light up when you saw her or alice. she remembers the freckles you had on nose and cheeks, they would darken when being in the sun for a certain amount of time. she remembers the way you used to say her name, it rolled off your tongue so perfectly, it was something she loved.
“i love you y/n”
________
i’m crying :3
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HOW TO STOP SITTING IN BED AND ROTTING🎀🫧🎧🌺 (with as little effort as possible)
hey again guys!
so my last couple of posts have been on this same topic but they are quite big things to do if you are in a proper rot or have adhd or depression or anything so here is an easier way toease yourself out of a rot.
right now i want you to make your bed. it doesnt have to have cute pillows stacked up or anything just make it. then get in the shower and put it at your fav temperature and sit or stand under it and let the water wash away any of your worries, tiredness, sadness and rottenness. you dont have to wash if you dont think you can but if you can use all your favourite products and wash your hair! now im so proud of how far you have gotten already! ok next i want you to brush your teeth and have a glass of water. i bet you are feeling fresher already! when you come back in your room, open your curtains and open your windows to get some air in. take deep breaths. now choose you comfiest but cute and presentable clothes and favourite underwear and change into it. then whatever the time is ;whether you will be having lunch, breakfast or dinner, cook yourself a nutritious meal even if its just pasta with some veggies please don’t just grab a bar or a packet of crisps. take the time to cook an easy meal. then wash up. don’t think of it as a chore, play your fav music and sing and dance while washing, splash bubbles 🫧 and smile. then go for a walk. just a short one to take fresh air and get out. now if you are feeling tired again just keep away from your phone. next you can grab any old notebook and write down whatever apart from things to do with stuff that makes you tired, rotten , stressed or sad. write a letter to your sibling or things your happy about. now cuddle your pet if you have one then make a hot water bottle and a cup of tea/ hot milk/ hot chocolate then cuddle up on the sofa and watch your favourite show. you have done so well! im proud.
now i want you to get a good early nights sleep in your clean tidy bedroom and wake up in good time tomorrow morning for another day of joy and happiness 💓. i know its cringe dont come at me! also if your bedsheets are dirty and you really cant wash them then just brush away the crumbs at least. and if your room is a tip, start by putting your washing in the wash basket and putting the dishes downstairs and wash them if you can. worry about the rest tomorrow ok 💓 im here if you need to talk guys!
alr im so so sooooo proud of you and im going to sign off now because you need to try do this! ok? xoxo
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Hey my dear! How are you? I'd actually like to participate in your matchup game! If that's ok.
You can even surprise me with the fandom! Either Haikyuu (I got a Kuroo match from you once!), JJK or The Arcana! So I'm a heterosexual girl, that's also down for trans men! I'd love a romantic Mystery-Date ofc. I'm very open and talkative. I love cuddling and going on adventures. Hiking? A city trip? Count me in! I'm hardly ever sad, but I have a shoulder to cry on, and I like to take care of my loved ones by cooking for them or comforting them. I usually dress either in dark academia style or sporty. I love books, tea, and cottage core.
I have a vast music taste but mostly love Gorillaz, Musicals, and Nightwish.
My love language is definitely physical touch and acts of service. I mostly like to kiss and cuddle or help my loved one.
Love, Kia!
notes: hello my love!!!! first i would like to apologize that this didnt make it to the valentine's event, but i want to thank you for all of your patience and kindness that you have showed me. I know we've both been really busy, but i am so glad i get to make this matchup for you!!! sending lots of love dear <333 (also gorillaz is top tier so you're rad for that lmao)
the character I choose for you is...
ASRA!!
this man could listen to you talk all day tbh
like will just gush over you silently in his mind while he listens to you talk about stuff you love
BIG CUDDLER
honestly, you cant escape cuddles from this man
he's so cozy
and like really warm???
like s tier cuddles ong
LOVES ADVENTURES
like this is the perfect man if you want adventures and such
you two will just spend an entire day or even week just out doing stuff
it's amazing
you're the couple with the best stories to tell frfr
he's never really sad either, but to know that he has a shoulder to cry on makes him so overyjoyed omg
and he will also be that shoulder for you
he wants you to know that he is there for you at all times <33
literally you two will just take turns caring for each other tbh
like he loves cooking for you but LOVES when you cook for him
he's a lil passenger princess and he is proud
you're little malewife tbh
he just loves how similar the two of you are and it really makes the relationship a lot of fun
LOVES your style omg
like dark academia is his shit dude so he will just be amazed everytime you get all dressed up
you two will sit, read, and drink tea while listening to the birds chirp early in the morning <3
YOUR FIC, MADAM
Asra woke up after a long day to find you making breakfast. The window was wide open, the sheer white curtains pushed to the side and he could hear the chirping of the morning birds as the sun spilled in the room. "Good morning, Asra," you smiled. "Good morning, love," Asra yawned, pulling his cardigan over his shoulder. "That looks delightful." "Well, I know you had a long day, and sometimes, you need to be taken care of." Asra smiled at you and pressed kisses all over your face as you plated his food. When you finished, you threw your arms around him and he buried his face in the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath of you in. He smiled and sighed wistfully as you played with his shining, white curls. He pulled back from you only to press a couple of kisses onto your soft lips and scoop up his plate, leading it to the small dining room table. You followed shortly behind and the two of you ate breakfast in near silence, hearing the fresh green leaves on the trees rustling from the morning breeze. The tea kettle you had set was squealing and you ran over quickly to prepare both of your tea. When you had come back to the dining room, you found Asra reading a book, putting your current work in progress where you were sitting. You slid him his tea and he thanked you, his bright eyes meeting yours with a smile. The rest of the morning continued with reading and smiles on both of your faces. Nothing calmed Asra more than seeing your helpful face.
~~~~~
pinned post @tonberry-yoda
#I LOVE THIS OMG#WHY DO I WRITE THE GOOD FICS IN A MATCHUP#everyone should read this tbh#maybe i'll make a longer version of this fic in a separate post#well nonetheless#love you kia!!!#thanks for your patience!!!#<3333#matchup#matchups#writing#my writing#fanfic#fanfiction#asks#<3#the arcana#the arcana x reader#asra#asra x reader
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dude i be pressin buttons n shit. like i dont think i've been playing the game's objectives for the last 15 minutes im sad i lost my baby boys my funny inline skates [seriously why did i only get those in the tutorial?? the body should've like, still had those on when he fell into the river?? am i supposed to have a way to swap to those still????] but i fucking love this board bro. and on-foot too. i am unironically just running around this giant open space hitting buttons trying to figure out trick timing bc the window to link these actually feels really tight. im not getting it down pat perfectly but i wonder if like. this will come naturally eventually or not. bc its not like jsrfmp timing where like, if you hit it consistently in 4/4 you'll be fine but it aint like. i dont think there are cancel windows. like in strive or nothin im having a skill issue but i cant wait to get over it so i can start finding better lines thru this area. i wanna hit all the little dudes.
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Slashers react to you having a panic attack-
Michael:
you where home alone while Michael was out doing whatever he does, you where sitting on your bed waiting to get a massage from your dream college you sat there anxiously your hand playing with the hem of your sweater just then you heard a sing for your laptop you clicked on the email and began to skim over it to get straight to the point "we're sorry to inform you" is all you had to read you fail, tears began to fall down your cheeks as you start to shake "I try so hard am I just stupid?..." you ask yourself as your thoughts swirled in your mind and throat became sore shaking you were startled by the sound of the bedroom door creaking open, you look up to see your boyfriend standing there tilting his head "oh hey love-" you hiccup and wipe your face forcing a sad smile he walks up to you and sits on the edge of the bed he puts a piece of your hair behind your ear looking at you with concerned eyes "uhm its stupid I-I just got rejected from my college" you say looking at your hand with embarrassment he pulls you in close and leans you on his chest, you listen to his heartbeat calming you down who knew Michael had a heart.
Thomas:
you were standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes while waiting on dinner you heard screaming coming from the front door Thomas comes walking quickly down to the basement with a girl over his shoulder and a guy being pulled by his hair you've had a bad past with loud noises and confrontations so you hated it luda gave you a worried look noticing the quickening of your breath and the stressed look on your face she give you a nod and you go upstairs to the bedroom that you and Thomas shared, you sat on the bed with your legs crossed under you and a small blanket over your shoulders "damn it (y/n) wait cant you stop being so sensitive" you thought as you clasped your hands together leaning them on your forehead closeing your eyes tight trying to block out the blood curdling screams coming from downstairs, after that didn't work and you started to shake you flop backwards and put a pillow over your head the muffled sounds seemed to help not knowing how much time had past you felt a presents beside you, you raise the pillow enough to see Thomas looking at you with worried eyes he wipes your cheek not even knowing you had been crying "I'm fine huh just a little overstimulated" I say with a soft laugh but he didn't seem amused, he walk to the other side of the bed kick off his shoes and joining me the pulls me to lay myself on top of him he rups my arm and plays with my hair "I love you tommy" I say nuzzling into his neck.
Billy&stu
you were sitting at your desk studying for your final exam before summer break you've been very stressed out all night staying up until 1am trying to figure things out "shit shit shit what if I fail my parents are gonna be so mad I'm gonna have to start the whole grade over again" you think as you start to shake and cry, you try to get up to get some fresh air but instead sliding down the door of your bedroom laying on the cool floor, you had at thought and pulled out your phone shakily and called up your boyfriends knowing they where the only thing that could help "hello? (y/n) is everything okay" billy says you called him knowing stu is probably over at his house like always and stu never picks up the phone "n-no please come over I really need you two right now" I say sobbing into the phone "okay baby we'll be over right away" he say hanging up the phone a few minutes pass and you hear taps on your window you go and open the curtains seeing your teo dorky boyfriends crawling on the over hand of your house, you open the window "thanks for coming" I say huging them when they step inside "aw pup its alright we'll always be here" stu say huging you back tightly, they pull me over to my bed and throw the sheet over us they squeeze you in the middle and cuddle you till your hearts content after telling them what's wrong.
Jason:
you where taking a stowell as you usually did since it was boring when jason would go and set traps, where walking in the main part of the camp when you see a truck of teens roll up you were confused on how they got in since the gate was rushed shut "hey sweetie what's a cutie like you doing in the dangerous woods" a sleazy guy says being out of the car along with his other friends "yeah why don't you join us we'll show you a good time promise" another guy say closing close to me grabbing my arm "No I'm fine thanks" you say trying to pull away but the guys try to grab you and pull me towards the car you punched a in the face and knee a guy in the stomach running from the group hearing them laugh, you run to the share cabin and sat on the couch feeling the bruises of where the guys had grabbed you, you start to shake and bawl your eyes out you look up the see Jason standing with his machete dropping out to the floor and quickly walking over to you he sits by you puting you on his lap cradling you , you see him sign "are you alright?" "yeah I'm okay what did you do with them" I say already knowing "I saw them hurt you so I hurt them 10× more" he signed noting his chin on the top of your head "I love you" you say hugging his neck, you could feel the blush radiating off of him.
#horror#horror movies#michael myers#jason voorhees#billy and stu#slashers#oneshot#headcanon#x reader
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🍕 🍀 🧠 🍩 fae siblings and luci..
(This is so fucking LONG)
🍕 - What is their favorite food?
Oh god I don’t know. This is honestly something I don’t think a lot of for my ocs. I feel like Fate’s and Calamity’s favorite food would be something that was originally from their homeworld. What is that? I don’t know! I haven’t thought about it much other than fae cuisine has a lot of fruit and vegetables in it and is usually very sweet.
It also something they cant probably ever have again. Aevium is a very different world from their homeworld and have very different plant life that doesn’t exist in the other so yeah. Sad moment there.
Lucifer’s is a lot less deep. He probably likes something simple like Dino Chicken Nuggies lmao.
🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?
For Fate, the ending of V13 lmao. I usually like to play as the canon MC. Yes they’re usually blank slates but I find enjoyment in taking the canon playable character (or one of them) and seeing how I end up perceiving them and creating my own interpretation. It’s why I don’t have MC ocs for Reborn/Desolation and Decibel/Robin with my own interpretations are the canon main characters of Reborn/Deso of my own personal oc verse. Originally I was doing the same with Alain, then the whole Chapter 15 ending came and threw that out the window. I got really really interested and invested in the relationship between the interceptor and the host which slowly led to me creating Fate! So yeah Fate, and by extension Calamity, wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for Rejvu’s crazy twist lmao.
Calamity came from the random thought I had. Does the interceptor have any family? Yes I get they’re meant to be a player insert but like, we have our own family. How would they feel if they suddenly disappeared from their family? How would the family members be affected? So yeah, Calamity was inspired by this thought I had lol.
Lucifer was just inspired by the Renegade route existing. I like evil paths, but I can’t really see Fate going down Renegade unless she was physically forced into it. I also wanted to explore a different way canon pokemon games insanely young protags could be shaped by their experiences.
🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?
My favorite thing about Fate is probably the fact she remembers her past along with being a completely different creature from a human and coming from an entirety different world. I absolutely love to explore that part of her and how she interacts with Rejvu’s characters and the world and compares it to her own. She’s adjusted a lot by this point in the story but she will always feel like an outsider. Her in act 1 more focuses on her desire to try to get home to her world and Calamity and reactions to the world but after her death in Valor Mountain she began to believe she was truly stuck and just try to find her way to live in this new world.
Calamity same as above, I like to explore his reactions to a world completely different from his home world. But I also like how extreme his reactions can be when it comes to something he cares about (in the case of the story Fate). He can get very much tunnel-visioned if he sees/perceives her being in danger. When Fate first went missing Calamity instantly was on trying to find her, much to his detriment. He rarely slept, was much more snappy and just wasn’t taking care of himself. Once it was discovered it was most likely she got caught in a portal he goes on to open a dimensional portal despite it being a federal crime in his world, can cause insane amount of damage, and has a very high chance of death on the OFF chance he could find Fate again. This also leaves him extremely susceptible to manipulation from Clear and Kieran. He’s not a bad guy by any means, but he doesn’t see how his actions hurt both himself and the one he’s trying to protect.
Hmmm I don’t really know about Luci? I like a lot about him don’t get me wrong but I have a hard time to pin down a favorite for me to talk about. I like it all, I will vibrate extremely no matter what you ask me about him. He’s a brat, he’s a villain, he wants to destroy the world, he believes life is nothing but suffering, he is in no way kind to those who aren’t his pokemon but he’s also just a 12 year old kid, he loves dragon types, he loves to talk about them, he’s smart, he loves to play and just be a kid, but he can’t do that, he’s the interceptor, he was abused, he had his childhood taken from him, he’ll never get that back, he believes he was betrayed by the only people who cared, he’s scared of opening up because he believes he’ll just be betrayed again, he believes everyone is using him, he’s died multiple times in excruciating ways, he just wants to rest, he genuinely thinks what he’s doing is right for the world. Even after the reset his actions as the Interceptor before will still forever haunt him too his grave. HE MAKES ME SIFNSJBDJEBFJENWA.
🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?
Hmm Fate is hard to say, probably at this point Team Xen in general. They are actively trying to do something dangerous that they need to stop. She does got personal beef with Aurora though lmao. Aurora always likes to jump in and absolutely CRUSH Fate with her birds. Along with being the Deathwing to actually kidnapped Fate and Aelita, yeah her and Aurora got a bit of a rivalry going on. I wouldn’t say Fate has an arch-nemesis yet though…well….not yet anyways.
Calamity’s arch-nemesis at this point is just- Fate’s entire friend group in general. Like I said he’s being manipulated by Clear and Kieran to think that they are harmful to Fate, and Calamity is in no mental state to pick out truth through lies, he just wants his sister back. He’s had the most interaction with Ren though, as he joins Kieran in tag teaming Ren when Fate is unconscious at the house in the past. Calamity being unable to get Fate just made him extremely upset and frustrated. So yeah, I’d say at this point Calamity hates Ren the most of everyone which is…ironic given Ren is Fate’s best friend.
For Luci I’d say anyone against his goal in destroying the world. I would’ve said Madame X but after learning Nancy was a black box and created just to love him Luci felt really betrayed and has very complicated feelings in Nancy. He doesn’t like Madame X by any means but he’s willing to work with her right now. Not gonna stop him from being a brat though.
#I’m sorry this is so long you activated the brain cell Rowan#thanks for the ask!#oc: lucifer nash#oc: stella ‘fate’ aquila#oc: altair ‘calamity’ aquila#pokemon rejvuenation oc
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Cope post if u cant handle really messed up humor or me going on a tangent about some touchy subject plz scroll.
So uhm we have horrible news, and sad news,
1. my cat (14) has really bad jaundice and is rapidly declining unfortunately. (Im not even religious but im just praying to whatever the fuck is out there he recovers, fuck me wanting my ex back, i want my cat to be okay finally. [we've been struggling with his health issues since we adopted him as we weren't informed too well about them on adoption/when getting him])
2. He lost/is still losing weight faster than me. (theres the joke/not a joke why is he not eating hes taking antibiotics and has clean water n good food, CLEAN litter DAILY, resides in my nicely ventilated (slightly open window fans creating air circulation and a slightly cooled room) with his heating pad on low for him on his futon, like genuinely what am i doing wrong... Like literally just another example of shit in my life i somehow fuckup even tho its supposed to be "So EaSy" for "EvERyOnE" this is my second orange cat, I'll let you guess what happened to the first..
3. We can't afford treatmentttt.
4. My other cat (Gray cat/5/Gary) hates him.
But idfk what to do hes my everything my sweet boy and i cant help but feel like its my fault, would he be like this had i not been the one to adopt him?
Sorry for the rant/vent i just literally have no irl friends to tell so.
I really want him to be okay, idfk what to do.
#Hahahahaimactuallycryingsohardrn#Everytimebroeverytimewhy#Bumbumbumanotheronebitesthedust#Ohdearlordihopenotineedhimtostayhesmyemotionalsupport
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mdou moctar @ crescent ballroom
been a minute since ive talked about a show ive seen ..
crescent remains the best venue in all of arizona to catch a show. it is tiny but still feels navigable even when packed, the sound is always perfect, and you can see everything from any place in the ballroom. actually cant say enough good about it. ive seen some dream acts here and its never lost on me the specialness of it
rosali opened and was one of the best openers ive ever seen and an instant love. (kiev & gustaf reign) she has a beautiful, pure voice and uses it fully. musically tight with kind of a post rock edge on the ends with distant echoes of appalachia. she mentioned & contributed a song to cardinals at the window (go get it on bandcamp now) she has a little bit of stevie in her a little natalie merchant. her & band were brilliant. live is better. more loose and heavy but what can you do? hills on fire is also a good one↓
mdou is fuckin crazy. these guys went from 0 to 100 from first note and never really let up. az is rarely at this speed and it took awhile for people to adjust and get with it. with barely a thimblefull of rhythm amongst them, the crowd eventually started dancing hard. the drummer was going buck and the smoke that hung in the air around the stage im not entirely sure wasnt just coming from him. i watched him a lot. it was a sight. i had been up since 5a and worked on 3 hard ppl so was on the dead side and there was a point where... oh so they played all their songs for like 13?15 minutes...i completely zoomed in and was locked like in the music. it was super weird. ive only done that a handfull of times at shows and only ever at foals shows. its where youre like so acutely present you can almost see the enlivening structure of your surroundings like theres a visible quality to the edges of things or the air or something or youre in th idk...anyway i was totally entranced. time passed in a floaty way. im so so happy i went. there was a point where i thought oh im not sad really i just need live music. there was a part in one song that the drumming was really at the front and it just filled my body i almost wanted to cry. like just the drag on a snare. there wasnt much singing but when there was it was
so i have no idea what but that let me just be fully in the sound of it. to say they were good is just dumb. the way moctar plays guitar is like if a small boy stumbled on a hendrix record in an otherwise totally isolated musical environment and was only able to play it on a malfunctioning turntable that distorted the speed and tone and he obsessively wanted to encompass and surpass him.
i dont know how to characterize how i feel about getting to see this band live. its genuinely insane to fathom in a cosmic sense. he said here was like where he is from and talked about how he plays guitar by what he feels🥲 funeral for justice is an incredible record. listen to it. and what an amazing title
obviously im intense about music. see exhibit this entire blog, but the reality of being in a small venue with music vibrating through you is truly the greatest joy of life.
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im scared im phasing into a depressive phase AGAIN. i dont wanna go back to when i couldnt even brush my teeth and sat on a window contemplating every day but it feels like i might. things are better but everything still feels so weird. yeah i have friends now but im just kind of there. i realize that my voice is just never loud enough. whenever i try and speak up or voice something not just to friends but in general nobody hears or listens to me i feel like i did when i was a kid again. and then someone else says what i said and theyre seen, people listen. worst part is its also my other friends so i just feel shitty of beung envious of them. i see people whove spent less time on their skills and just why are they so much better than me. i just realize how the person i click with best has their own friend group and then in my friend group my 2 friends click better together than i do with them so what am i then. and i have no mativation to do anything these days, nothing of worth anyways. so when im there and theyre talking its like im invisible and maybe i should just start talking and i try but sometimes nobody hears me and i dont feel like trying again in case they did but just didnt react or cause i didnt want to disturb their time with others or maybe i didnt speak up at all in the first place cause i feel so empty and tired which sounds so cringe amiright but how tf else do i describe it. i just want someone to ask me something or try and get me included why do i always have to take innitiative or question if somethings an open invite. thats just friends. at home my dad had an outburts, bruised my brother, and made my mom feel useless recently. then he starts acting all nice and ik hes just trying i mean his family are a bunch of trash but i just cant anymore. i feel like im the one breaking thw family apart now by being angry and spiteful and distant and i feel like im becoming my dad and the thought makes me want to throw up. but whenever i see myself acting nice to him because hes being nice it makes me want to throw up too because hes part of the reason my moms depressed. and i realize i dont even know who i am or what i want i lack the direction or long standing passions everyone else does. the only consistent thing i have is writing but i dont write a lot like other writers and nobody cares for it its not that impressive. ive managed to tone done my old tendency to tell small lies to seem like im so simillar to other people but its still there so in reality nobody really sees the true me (great im sounding cringe again but once again cannot find the words) i think thats why i love rp and writing sm because i can be someone with a set mould and identity. meanwhile im a walking contradiction with blurred lines. i think if i dissappeared people would be sad for a bit but theyd move on faster than youd think. it wouldnt be hard to go back to normal because i wasnt much part of it. maybe my parents would be the saddest but theyd be happier after no. worst part is i often put my emotional burden onto my friends and i feel like the shittiest person for venting so i think theyre nice out of pity. sometimes i exaggerate my problems so others feel more pity, so even if its not genuine ill feel like people care for me but at the same time i cant tell when im exaggerating or not. its more like leaving it vauge so i dont seem like the ungrateful bitch i am. cause my life isnt as bad as others so why am i crying and complaining. i come from a rich family with parents who are home more than other families. my parents are not pressureful and they are nice and i just lash out. i cant tell whats the truth of that situation anymore if im frank. i have a good amount of friends and a group, i have people to text and call. yet why do i still feel like this? i was just feeling happy yesterday. i really dont get it.
#personal vent#vent post#vent#tw suicide#tw sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#vent tw#tw vent#tw abuse#look at me using that tag even though i dont know if it even counts as that#its better to not trigger ppl though#tw mental health
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